Dear President-Elect Trump,
I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving.
But today it is time to get back to work, and neither you nor the nation can afford another day of Twits about the recount. Unfortunately, Sir, although you are over 50, you are also the most powerful person on the planet, or will be in six weeks. Facts must interfere with your opinions.
So, for starters, millions of illegal votes were not cast for Hillary Clinton. She won the popular vote fair and square because, quite honestly, your comments as Candidate repelled most people who live in the cities, and most of America lives in cities. But for the Constitutionally enshrined Electoral College, she, not you, would flaunt the term PEOTUS. Please remember that over the next four years.
Second, you have insulted the integrity of the local Boards of Elections all over the country. These overworked, underpaid public servants manage unwieldy technology, ever-changing election laws, and ignorant voters. They do not knowingly or willingly permit any illegal voting, and illegal voting could not successfully occur on the scale you are suggesting. There are too many checks and balances built into the technology, too many poll watchers at the precincts, and too many post-election reporting requirements to permit mass voter fraud. Frankly, it is difficult enough to attract, train, and retain qualified, committed people to these jobs so vital to our nation’s identity without you defaming them.
Third, you seem to have a persistent problem with Twitting before you think. It is time to stop. Every time something provokes you, you make sure the entire world knows. This embarrasses you, Melania, the kids, the country, and the Office of the Presidency. More importantly, it shows our enemies how easily it is to manipulate you. During your Presidency, when you feel provoked, please keep in mind what Teddy Roosevelt said, “Walk softly and carry a big stick.” Or the ever popular, “never let them see you sweat.” Or the famous song from West Side Story,
Boy, boy, crazy boy,
Get cool, boy!
Got a rocket in your pocket,
Keep coolly cool, boy!
Don’t get hot,
‘Cause man, you got
Some high times ahead.
Take it slow and Daddy-O,
You can live it up and die in bed!
Boy, boy, crazy boy!
Stay loose, boy!
Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it.
Turn off the juice, boy!
Go man, go,
But not like a yo-yo schoolboy.
Just play it cool, boy,
If all else fails, there is always medication. Think about it.
God bless America,
The Wednesday Morning Quarterback